Bouncer in Beacon
by SaltyCrusader
Summary: Being a bouncer was easy. Stand around and look big. Suddenly, the clubs trashed and I'm robbing a dust shop with some pimp-stereotype-looking dude. Luckily, I got offered an alternative to jail. Go back to school. Wasn't really my plan, but it beats jail, so I'll have to give Beacon a chance. Be gentle with me, it's my first time. No real plan, just gonna let it do the writing.
1. Chapter 1: Hubbub in the Club

It's Friday night at Junior's, and they were doing some pretty good business. Fred was doing his deal, serving up the booze to thirsty customers at the bar. DJ Bearhead (or whatever dumbass stage name Lowell had come up with) had some club mixes playing for the people who came to Junior's to dance. All the bouncers were scattered through the club, keeping a lookout for people on the ban list and potential troublemakers. Kuma was leaning on a wall on the opposite side of the dance floor from the bar, adjusting his ill-fitting suit. He hated this formal wear shit. Didn't help it was cheap. They didn't have anything that fit him in the back(Men's Warehouse, it was not), so the sleeves were a little short, and it was tight across the shoulders, clearly made for someone slightly shorter and leaner. The pants at least fit well.

Kuma was scanning the crowd, when suddenly he saw somebody fly across the room and hit the wall with a crash. He immediately ran over to go check on them. By the time he got there(he needed to spend more time on cardio), Junior had stood up and was shaking it off.

"You okay, sir?"

Junior turned to look at him. "I'm fine. But we got bigger problems. We need to get that bitch out of here before she wrecks the club." He pointed over towards the dance floor.

Some stacked blonde was mopping the floor with the rest of the bouncers. She had some sort of gun-gauntlets(gun-tlets?) and was putting them to pretty effective use. Kuma looked back to Junior, rubbing his borderline-lumberjack beard in thought. "Is it too late to call in sick? I feel a cough coming on."

"Get the fuck out there, or you're fired."

Sighing, he discarded his machete(didn't know how to use the cheap POS anyway). This was gonna suck major dick. Kuma ran over towards the dance floor, trying to stay behind her as best as he could. When he was about 20 feet away, he broke into a sprint and shoulder-charged her. Kuma connected, but instead of knocking her away and onto the ground, she just skidded about 8 feet and turned around.

"Hey, I felt that! Finally, somebody worth my attention." Stacked-Blonde cracked her neck and got in a boxing stance.

"Hey, if it isn't too much to ask, could you just leave? You're kinda wrecking my place of work." Kuma had no desire to fight if he could avoid it. People always called him a coward because he didn't seek out every fight. Truth was, he was just lazy.

"No can do, your boss has some info I need. Also, this is fun! Why stop the party already?" she said playfully. Great, she was some adrenaline junky. "Before I beat you up, I'm Yang! What's your name?"

"Kuma. I'll try not to hurt you when I throw you out."

"Aww, how sweet! No promises from me, though."

They both charged forward. Kuma went for a simple left jab to the gut, she went for a right hook to the face. He had about 6 or 7 inches on her, so his reach ensured he connected first, making her exhale sharply, and thankfully taking the edge off that hook. _Goddamn, she hit like a truck,_ he thought. No time to lick his wounds though. He quickly followed up with another jab to her stomach bringing his left hand up to try to ward off the jab he saw coming.

She was faster. She drove the wind out of Kuma, and didn't give him a moment to recover, throwing out a flurry of light jabs to keep him off balance. Kuma soaked it up. Good thing about being fat-jacked, he had some cushion. He just had to wait for an opening…there! She slightly overextended one of her jabs, and he did his best to punish it. Kuma accepted the hit in exchange for a powerful uppercut. Now it was his turn to keep her off balance. Rather than use her flurry technique, Kuma decided to try and keep her dazed. He grabbed her shoulder and pulled her toward him, simultaneously driving his head forward.

Ooooh…head-butts hurt. he rubbed his remaining brain cells together to come up with a follow up…Nothing. Head-butt ad nauseam it is. _Hopefully it will kill off the weak and slow brain cells_. Kuma head-butted Yang repeatedly, until he lost count. Losing count was probably more a result of the concussion he was getting, rather than it being a lot of staggered back, and they both tried to shake it off. Yang had a little bruise developing on her forehead. Kuma had the bruise's twin. Oh, and she looked more than a little annoyed. Also...on fire?

She lunged toward me, arm outstretched, about to deliver the mother of all definitely didn't want to get hit by that, and this seemed like a good time to try submission holds, since slugging it out clearly wasn't working. He sidestepped quickly(translators note: stumbled desperately) out of the way and grabbed her arm at the wrist. He then wrenched it behind her and braced his other hand on her elbow, applying slight pressure.

"Okay, funs over. I can break your arm from this hold, but I'd rather not do that. Are you gonna leave peacefully?" He applied slightly more pressure. He really didn't want to break her arm. He'd never had to follow through on the threat before, and Kuma didn't like hurting people.

"This has been a great fight, Kuma! I'll have to look you up sometime for another round. But tonight? You're done." Yang didn't even have the decency to be out of breath. She stomped on Kuma's right instep, and jerked back with her head, giving him a glancing blow to the head. He let go of her arm and staggered backward, favoring his injured foot. Submission holds are kind of useless if you're unwilling to follow through. Wish he'd thought that through. Kuma looked up just in time to eat a shotgun blast from a yellow fist and get sent flying backwards. He slammed into the wall, but didn't fall down, due to its support. More support than he'd gotten the whole fight.

Oh lucky him, it seemed Yang was a believer in the double-tap. She propelled herself over, preparing to deliver a hard one to his face[*meaningful eyebrow wiggle*]. That'll just about do it for him. _I hope my nap will be restful._

* * *

Kuma woke up to a slap in the face, and a throbbing headache. Jimmy, one of the other bouncers, slapped him again. "Wakey wakey. Wow, that's a beautiful shiner you got there. Get one for the other eye and you'd be a convincing raccoon." Jimmy smiled widely, displaying a brand shiny new gap in his teeth, along with some schadenfreude.

"Yeah, fuck you too, Jimmy. You got something in between your teeth…oh wait." Jimmy frowned, and left to go wake some of Yang's other casualties. He sat up, and looked around at the club. _Why is it all blurry?...ah._ He briefly considered looking for hisglasses in the rubble, and decided against it. Luckily, he had some spares, and put them on. Now that he wasn't blind, Kuma looked around again. The place looked like the aftermath of a tornado. Junior was sitting over at the bar, with a bag of frozen peas on his…crotch? Ouch. The two Malachite sisters were both sulking at a table, pretty obviously battered. "That Yang chick really did a number on the place."

"No thanks to you, asshole." Junior yelled over, without much heat.

"Hey man, if she beat you and the Malachites, there wasn't really much any of us could do." Yang must have thrown somebody into an air conditioning unit,because it was damn hot. Kuma untied his brown hair from its short ponytail and start combing his fingers through it. He'd just taken a power-nap in a full suit, so airing out his scalp would help him cool down.

"…Fair enough. Fuck, we're gonna be closed for weeks. Guess I'm going to have to lend you guys out after all."

 _Lend us out?_ "What does that mean?"

"I won't be making any money while they renovate and repair, and I'm not going to need bouncers during that period. So if I can hire you guys out to people who need muscle, I can defray the renovation cost and keep you failures out of my hair. I know that Torchwick needs some idiots, he was in here just before everything went to hell." Junior suddenly smiled viciously, turning to me. "And since you've demonstrated you're my _best_ bouncer, I just _know_ he'll love having you on his team."

Kuma paled. "Wait hold on boss, I can't do that, I keep my nose clean, I don't wanna be involved in anything Torchwick's doing, I could get arre-"

"Too bad. It's this, or find a new job. Hope you've kept your resume updated."

 _Shiiiiitttttt._

* * *

 **Okay, author's note time. This is my first attempt at fanfic(or writing, really) so please be gentle, b-baka. I don't really have the next bit written, but I have the prologue Arc(wha-ha-hey, RWBY jokes) kinda planned. There should be three(maybe four) chapters before we get to Beacon proper. Before anyone asks, Kuma won't replace any of the main cast. He'll be on a third team(of OCs), and they won't be quite as chummy as JNPR and RWBY are with each other. They will be be friends with the Main 8, just not super-duper best friends like JNPR and RWBY. I'm doing that because it annoys me when people try to shoehorn a third team into ALL the RWBY/JNPR-related hijinks. Also, no romance planned...YET. If it evolves organically, I'll add the Romance tag along with a pairing.**

 **If you review, please try to keep your critique constructive, rather than destructive. Also, be civil.**

 **Welp, see you next chapter, so praise the sun, cyka blyat rush B, ryuu ga waga teki go fuck yourself, whatever in-joke your fandom has.**

 **Peace!**

 **SaltyCrusader**

 **Edit 1/30/17: Hey I fixed some things that were bothering me, followed up on some critique I got. Shout out to Preturabo for some very helpful critique and encouragement. I'm about to sit down and try to slam some of this out. Hopefully in the future, I won't make be making so many changes, and they won't be as sweeping as this. Always give your shit a second read, kids. You'll sift out a lot of crap.**


	2. Chapter 2: Boot to the Balls

"Well gentlemen. Any idea how long until your friend shows up?" Torchwick was getting annoyed. It was 7:10, and he was still one man short.

"Kuma lives all the way across town, and he was complaining somebody stole his bike. He should be here soon. You won't want to leave without him, the only one stronger than him are the twins and Junior," one minion said.

"Fantastic. You lot sure are a bunch of professionals. don't care how good he is, if he isn't here in the next thirty seconds, we're going without him." There was blissful silence for all of three seconds, before a big sweaty guy stumbled into the alley everyone was waiting in.

"Hooo…hoo…haaahhhhh…I'm...here…hooooo." The last arrival looked like he had run the last three miles and was about to drop. He was gasping for air, chest heaving.

"Well, now we've found our poor lost boy, we can get down to business. Follow me, we'll walk and talk, chop chop. And don't forget the cases." Torchwick smiled broadly. That's what you get for being late. Everybody except for Kuma traipsed out of the alley, grabbing a hard-case each from a pile next to where Roman was standing. After about ten seconds, Kuma straightened and followed, grabbing a case as he passed the pile.

"Today, children, we'll be robbing a dust shop. We go in, we take the dust, we leave. That simple. Think you morons can handle it? Or will you need me to hold your hands?"

"I think we can handle it, Wo-man Torchdick."

Roman whipped around. "Who the fuck said that?" He scanned the faces of all the bouncers. "Want to say it again?" A few seconds passed, with Torchwick watching everyone closely. "That's what I thought." Torchwick resumed walking, a little faster now. He just wanted to be done with these assholes.

* * *

Kuma let the very carefully maintained stone-face go, and resolved to keep his mouth shut for the rest of the job. He almost lost it there. He was just lucky the rest of Junior's men hated Torchwick too, or they might have told on him.

The rest of the walk passed in silence, and they found themselves in front of From Dust Til Dawn. Roman entered first, cane clacking on the ground. Nodding to each other, the bouncers drew their machetes and followed.

The dust shop was small, with dispensers on opposite walls for powdered Dust, and an assortment of magazines racks over in the corner. There was a small drink cooler as well. Most important was the display cases with crystalline Dust in the center of the shop. Roman immediately swaggered up to the counter.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a dust shop open this late?" One of the bouncers pulled a gun and pointed it at the old guy behind the counter, turning off the safety with a whine.

The elderly shop keep quickly raised his hands. "Please, just take my Lien and leave."

"Sh-sh-sh, calm down, we're not here for your money." Roman turned to the thugs. "Grab the dust." Two began filling tubes from the dispensers on the left-hand wall, placing the filled ones in foam-lined cases. One began taking high-grade raw Burn crystals from the shop keep and putting them in a similar case.

Kuma and the last bouncer walked over to the other set of dispensers. The other guy started filling vials, but Kuma stared longingly over at the drink cooler…well, in for a Lien, in for a hundred. It wasn't like a single can of pop would hurt the store anymore. He set his case down and walked over to the cooler. As he was about to grab a MTN GLN, he noticed he wasn't alone. There was a short girl, all in red, standing by the magazine racks, reading a weapons magazine and listening to music he could faintly hear through some seriously nice looking headphones.

"Hey, kid, you should get out of here," he whispered while tapping her on the shoulder. He definitely didn't want some kid getting caught up in any of this. Torchwick didn't normally go in for collateral damage as far as he had heard, but no sense taking chances.

"What?" the girl said, turning around. She had to look up quite a bit to meet his blue eyes with silver. She took off her headphones. "What is it?"

"Kid, you should leave, it ain't safe here," he whispered again, more urgently this time.

"Why wouldn't it be safe?" the girl started scanning the store, and finally noticed all the people taking Dust, all wearing the same outfit as the man in front of her. "Are you…robbing this place?"

"…yeah…" Kuma muttered, cringing inwardly at having to admit it.

"Ohhhhhhh…"

POW! Suddenly Kuma was sliding across the store, grabbing his gut. How could some little girl kick like that? One of the bouncers ran over and trained a gun on the teen in question. She dashed over and with another kick, they were both flying out the window. A large red scythe began unfolding itself over her shoulder, accompanied by an impressive amount of mechanical clanks and whirring.

The dust shop robbers all walked over to the window. "Okayyy…get her," Roman said, nodding towards the now scythe-wielding girl. The other three bouncers leapt out of the window and charged the kid. Kuma held back for a second. The three could probably handle themselves for a bit, and Roman was acting suspicious. He took a scroll out of his pocket, and made a quick call. "I'm going to need a way out. I'll be on the roof." Putting his scroll away, he noticed Kuma was watching him. "Too scared to fight a little girl? Don't worry baby, I'll stop the mean girl from hurting you." The sarcasm was so thick, you were able to palp it.

Kuma choked back his retort, and followed Roman out of the door, only to see that the girl had absolutely wrecked all three of the bouncers. They couldn't handle themselves after all.

Roman sighed. "You were worth every penny, truly you were…except for you." He turned to Kuma. "You haven't even done anything yet. Sic em," he said, pointing at the teen.

Kuma exhaled through pursed lips. Nothing for it then. He briefly considered abandoning the machete like he did at the club, but looking at the girl's scythe…he was going to need the extra reach. He stepped up, muttering "I really wish you had just left. I don't want to fight a little girl."

The girl's eyes narrowed. "I'm not little! I. Drink. MILK!" Kuma blinked, and she was in front of him, right leg at full extension behind her.

" _Hoe, don't do it,"_ was all that went through his brain. There was a moment of perfect stillness…and then her foot rocketed forward. A high keening sound left Kuma's mouth as he dropped to the floor in the fetal position.

Roman winced. Aura protected from injuries really well, but it didn't block pain for shit. He dropped his cigar and stubbed it out with Melodic Cudgel. "Well, as much as I'd love to stick around…" Roman brought his cane up and deployed the targeting reticle. "This, is where we part ways." He fired a single round at the teen.

If Kuma hadn't already figured out she wasn't a normal kid, here would have been the lightbulb moment. The little reaper jumped impossibly high, and the explosive round passed underneath her and impacted the street 10 feet behind her. When she looked up, both Roman and the possible eunuch were gone.

"Why are you following me? Also, you were crying on the ground a second ago, how are you okay now?"

"I heard what you said about a get-away, and I want on it." Kuma was climbing the fire escape ladder right behind Roman. "I'm hurting a lot right now, but fear of imprisonment is a powerful motivator."

"Don't I know it, kid." They both made it to the top, and Roman rushed to the opposite edge of the roof.

"So where's this ride?" Kuma didn't see anything like an escape vehicle. "OOF!" There was almost no gap between the sound of a large rifle and a weight hitting him right between the shoulders. She must have jumped up by using the recoil from her weapon. He was still swimming from the nut-shot earlier, and so he toppled.

"Hey!" It was the girl again! She appeared to notice the uneven ground she was on, and stepped off of Kuma's back. He slowly began to push himself up.

Roman muttered something Kuma couldn't hear, and a Bullhead suddenly revealed itself, rising above the building. Roman hopped in while the teen and Kuma just gawped. "End of the line Red! And you too, I guess." He tossed one of the burn crystals from the shop at Red's feet, which happened to be next to Kuma's feet as well.

Roman began lining up a shot on the crystal. With the amount of aura he had left, as well as his natural hardiness, he'd probably be fine. His eyes widened as he realized there was no way such a small girl would be. He stepped in front of the teen, shoving her backwards as he did so, and braced for impact, closing his eyes to avoid being blinded. Roman fired, and he heard an explosion…

To his surprise, he wasn't flung away or set ablaze. He opened his eyes to see some weird purple symbol floating in from of him, as well as what appeared to be a stereotypical secretary. Except for the weirdly shaped purple cape. And the riding crop?...kinky.

The blonde pushed up her glasses, and swung her riding crop at the bullhead, sending purple bolts flying. The Bullhead shook, and Roman disappeared from view, replaced by a woman in red. The blonde had sent a purple orb above the Bullhead while this happened, causing an extremely localized hailstorm. The woman in red retaliated with a fireball, only to be blocked by another purple symbol conjured by a swing of the crop. Kuma flinched, due to the proximity. With a hand motion, the Red Woman caused the ground underneath the blond huntress's feet to glow red. Kuma was still next to the huntress, and had no desire to be there any longer. He dove away, as the huntress also quickly vacated the area with a backflip, as a beam of fire shot up from where they were standing. Miss Secretary shaped all the debris into a glowing purple spear, which sped towards the bullhead. The Red Woman sent multiple bolts of fire at the spear, causing it to lose it cohesion, but it reformed, darting forward again. The pilot quickly dove, resulting in only a glancing blow along the top. The spear then broke into three smaller spears, and prepared to strike from different angles. Kuma thought this would probably be the killing blow...but with a pulse of red energy originating from the Bullhead, all three lost their purple glow and fell.

The scythe-wielder, clearly not understanding this was far out of her league, collapsed her weapon and began firing her-Kuma internally decided to call it a scyther-rifle-at the Red Woman. She deflected every bullet with her hand, and counterattacked. Kuma sprinted over, grabbing the kid and getting out of the blast zone, as the blonde huntress flipped forward out of the way. While she was distracted, the Bullhead flew off into the night sky.

Kuma set the girl down, breathing heavily. He brought both hands to his head. "What…the FUCK…have I gotten myself into?"

The kid walked over to Miss Secretary. "You're a huntress," she said, the hero worship audible in her voice. "CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"

"No. You'll both be coming to the station with me-Don't even think it." The instant she had said station, Kuma had taken a single step over to the edge of the roof, hoping he could jump off and run. What the fuck had he gotten myself into?

* * *

 **More author's notes! I'm going to try not to do this every chapter.**

 **But hey, chapter .2 done! Woohoo! I gave it a second read this time, but I'm not 100% happy with all of it(Side-eyes the monster of a paragraph where Glynda fights Cinder). Speaking of Glynda, Cinder, and Ruby, I don't refer to them by name because Kuma doesn't know them. I'm going to try not to let him show any knowledge he shouldn't possess.**

 **I hope y'all aren't disappointed with his fight with Ruby, if you can call it that. I promise, he's not as weak as he seems in this chapter. He's just a victim of underestimating Ruby(which I feel, if you haven't seen Ruby fight, is understandable).**

 **I also hope you like my characterization of Roman, and the interaction between him and Kuma. I feel like Kuma and him are very similar in the way they interact with people. I think Roman would be totally unable to take it the way he deals it, though(if Merc and Em were his subordinates instead of Cinder's, I think this is how he would treat them).**

 **I've almost finished fleshing out the characters of Kuma's team at Beacon(with the exception of one who's giving me trouble. Fuck you, Lila!) I've also started fleshing out Kuma's family. You'll meet most of them soon!(One in an unexpected place)**

 **Bonus points if you catch the Monty Python reference.**

 **Again, if you review, please try to keep your critique constructive, rather than destructive. Again, be civil.**

 **Next chapter, Kuma gets interviewed by an old man who creeps on farm boys and invites him to his special school. See you then!**

 **Jolly Cooperation!**

 **SaltyCrusader**

 **Edit 2/3/17: Heyo, fixing some problems Preturabo pointed out. I took out that whole waking up section, it didn't fit super well. Don't worry, we'll get to see his apartment again. Also, I'm going to make him my beta! Not official site stuff, there's some hoops and stuffs I don't wanna bother with. So hopefully this will be the last post edit for a while. Also, meet Kuma's family soon means meet them next chapter. Look forward to that, I guess.**

 **Also, there was a Tripod reference as well, bonus points for that as well.**


	3. Chapter 3: Admission and Call Home

**Beta: Preturabo**

* * *

Kuma sighed as his eyes wandered around the empty room again. "If you guys aren't going to talk to me or do anything, can I just leave?" Silence. "Worth a shot." He started counting ceiling tiles again. After doing that for about the 10th time, he started humming and tapping. As he slowly got more into it, he closed his eyes and started singing. Just as he reached the climax of the song, the door opened. Unfortunately, he didn't notice. "…and he's watching us all with the eye!...of the tiger."

Quiet clapping shocked him out of his performance, and he looked up to see a white-haired, bespectacled man sitting across from him. The man sipped from a mug of coffee before fixing him with a piercing gaze.. The blonde huntress from earlier was standing slightly behind him and to the left, glaring daggers at him. If wishes were horses, he'd have been trampled to death.

"…How long have you been listening?"

"Since the first chorus," the man answered, chuckling softly. "Your drumming needs work, but your singing was not unpleasant."

Kuma's face was burning. "Well then. Um. "I assume you didn't just come here to critique my singing."

"Ah, yes, sorry we left you waiting. We decided to talk to young Miss Rose first." Kuma assumed he meant the scythe girl. "We had some questions to ask her, and an offer to extend."

That didn't sound ominous at all. "So, does that mean you have questions for me?"

The blonde huntress stepped forward. "Yes. Starting with, why were you at the dust shop? No lies." Her voice was cold and unyielding.

"Well…I was robbing it. I work as a bouncer, and the club got destroyed. The boss decided to hire us out as muscle to interested parties. It was go along, or lose my job. This is the only job I've been able to keep since I moved here, so I had no choice."

"Where did you move from?"

"I moved from Rochester. It's a small village northeast of Atlas."

"Why did you move here?"

"I wanted to go out into the world, sink or swim on my own merit. I had some rough spots, but I'm treading water now."

"And why did you not follow your father's footsteps and become a Huntsman?" This time, it was the white haired man who asked.

Kuma's eyes narrowed. "Why are you asking me these questions? You clearly seem to know a lot about me."

"Because what kind of person you are cannot be found in this file, Mr. Orr." He pulled out a file from under the table and placed it between them. "While it tells me what you are, it does not tell me why you are. Why did you not become a Huntsman?"

He was silent for a moment. "My father once told me, when I was very little, that being a Huntsman was not for people who merely wanted to uphold tradition, or see the world. He said that they needed to desire one thing beyond all others."

"And what was that?" The huntress bit out. She seemed impatient.

"He didn't tell me. But he said I'd know it when I found it. I never did, so I had to go to regular high school instead of combat prep."

"You've clearly had training, though. Your aura is unlocked, and you moved quickly, even for that." And also suspicious of him. Maybe that was justified, as he had just admitted to robbing a dust shop.

"I unlocked my aura on my own, so my dad and uncle gave me some private training. Just enough that I'd be able to take care of myself."

"Why did you tell Miss Rose to leave the store?" That was out of left-field. The white-haired man was regarding me over his mug.

"Didn't want some kid to get involved in anything like that. Better for everyone if I removed her from the equation. Heh, I probably shouldn't have worried. She handed it to us well enough."

"Why did you step in front of her when Torchwick fired?" The man asked me, leaning slightly forward.

"I…don't know." He thought for a moment. "It looked like she wouldn't be able to take a hit like that. So I made sure she didn't. Guess it didn't matter, because you were there anyway," Kuma said, indicating the secretary.

"Then why did you step in again, when Miss Goodwitch had already arrived?" The man leaned in more.

"My feet kinda moved on their own. Guess I didn't want to take a chance."

"You instinctively moved to protect her?" There was no pause in between questions.

"If you say so."

"Well, I think that settles that." The man leaned back in his chair, and took a sip of coffee. Looking over at Miss Goodwitch, he said "I think we can both agree, that he is acceptable."

"I don't. Unfortunately, you'll do what you want either way. But there will be restrictions!" Goodwitch clearly wasn't happy about whatever the man was talking about.

"Um, acceptable for what?" He had no idea what was going on.

"Do you know who I am?" The man took another sip of coffee.

"Um….no. Should I?"

"He is the headmaster of Beacon Academy. And you should." Goodwitch informed me, testily.

"You may call me Professor Ozpin. I would like to extend an invitation to attend my school."

"I'm flattered…but no thanks. I don't have hunting in me."

"Clearly, you do. I believe you found what your father was speaking about. The desire to protect others, even at the cost of your own well-being. When you stepped in front of Miss Rose, you showed you had what it takes to be a true Huntsman." Ozpin sounded genuine.

"But I haven't had enough training, and I'm older than the usual student."

"Well, if you're so opposed to the idea, I'll have to hand you over to the police. I know the Organized Crime section is very interested to know what you can tell them about Roman Torchwick. I suppose you could cut a deal, but you would still most likely end up in prison for at least a year. I imagine it would be even harder to keep a job with a criminal record."

"But-but-but that's blackmail!" Kuma cried out, shocked.

Ozpin took another sip of coffee(Was the thing bottomless?). "Yes…I suppose it is." He smiled beatifically.

He silently resolved to never anger this man. Petty and manipulative are a dangerous combination. "You win. I'll go to your freaking special school. But I think this is a mistake."

"I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, or child on this planet. I don't believe this will be one of them." His face grew serious for a moment, before returning to 'I just pulled an awful prank' concealed behind 'I could not harm a fly.'

"So, when does school start? What kind of supplies will I need?" Kuma said, resignedly.

Goodwitch produced a list and handed it to me. As I scanned it, she began speaking. "The new year begins in four days, on Monday. The airship is scheduled for noon. If you're not on that airship, I'll be forced to assume you decided to renege, and will notify the police."

He waved her off absentmindedly, "Yeah yeah yeah, it says Huntsman weapon and attire? I don't have that."

"Well, you'll simply have to commission some, then." Goodwitch sounded peeved. Probably the interrupting her thing.

"With what money? Bouncer doesn't pay that great, and I just spent my nest egg a couple months ago on a bike. That then got stolen. Hey, do you think I could ask one of the officers if there's been any progress?"

"I don't see why you can't ask. As for the weapons, I believe the school's budget has some room for scholarships. If we don't use the funds, we'll lose it next year. How about we pay for your weapon and attire," Ozpin offered.

"Okay then. If that's all, can I go now? I should probably get going on this commissioning stuff." He was ready to get out of this tiny room.

"Not so fast, Mr. Orr. We have the restrictions to go over." Goodwitch loomed over him, clearly having none of it.

"I believe you can handle that, Professor Goodwitch. I believe I will begin making arrangements for our newest student back at Beacon." Ozpin said this as he was walking out the door, offering a mock salute with his cane to Goodwitch as he left.

"…Unbelievable." The professor rubbed her temples. "Make yourself comfortable, Mr. Orr, this will take a while." She produced a stack of legal documents. "You will not leave until each of these is signed. If I find you have failed to familiarize yourself with these restrictions adequately, there will be consequences."

"Consequences? What kind?"

"Dire."

He was going to die of old age in this room.

* * *

Kuma shuffled into his apartment at around 5 a.m. It had taken hours to read and fill out the paperwork, and then he still had to walk home from the station, which was even farther away from his house than the dust shop was. All he wanted to do was his best impression of a hibernating bear for the next 15 hours.

That would unfortunately not be happening. He needed to get to a weapon shop as soon as he could so he could have something besides his fists for the start of school. No mini-coma for him. Plus, he had to make a scroll call.

Kuma punched in the numbers he knew by heart in, pausing at one number shy. Steeling himself, he entered the last number and pressed the call button. After a short dial tone while the call connected, someone answered.

"Hey Per-oh, I keep forgetting, you like Kuma now." The voice was female, and spoke quickly.

"Hi mom."

"So what's wrong? You never call unless somethings wrong. Are you eating well? Did you get your bike back yet? Did you get fired?" He was never prepared for the verbal deluge that was his mother on the phone. It was like she thought someone was going to snatch the phone away. "Oh, that reminds me, I was talking to one of my friends, Mrs. Lilac, you remember her, and she said there was a very nice opening at her nephew's company, they work with scroll tech-"

Very faintly, Kuma heard a deep voice yelling, "My god Mari, let him get a word in edgewise!" Dad to the rescue.

She started speaking again, slowly accelerating. "Oh, right. It's just I can't stand the thought of you wasting your potential at some sleazy club working as a bouncer! I know you can be so much-"

"Mom, please! I'll tell why I called, if you'll let me!"

"Okay! Okay. I'm listening, honey. Tell me what's the matter."

"Nothing's the matter. Well…I did lose my job. But!" he added before she could interject, "that's kind of good news. You know how Dad has always talked about the one thing someone needs to be a Huntsman?"

"Of course I do, honey, anytime anyone mentions," she began whispering, " _those_ people, he launches into The Speech."

"Well…I think I found it."

"You found what a Huntsman needs?" she whisper-yelled. Kuma immediately heard the sound of pounding feet followed by a small "Eeep!" as someone snatched the phone.

"YOU FOUND IT? TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, DO IT!" Kuma flinched and jerked the scroll away from his ringing ear. Whispering was no defense against his father. Although superhuman-hearing was not of terrible use in combat, his dad used it to great effect in his home life. There were no secrets in the Orr household. Dad always boasted that he could hear the sound of an ant sneezing from across town.

Odd then, how he never seemed to hear Mom telling him to do yard-work.

"I think every Huntsman needs to have the desire to protect others, even at the cost of their own body or life." The other end of the line was silent for about 10 seconds. "…Dad?" Kuma asked, hesitantly.

…"I've never, ever, been so PROUD OF YOU IN MY LIFE! MY BABY BOY IS GOING TO BE A HUNTSMAN!"

Kuma flinched again. Bercilak Orr had a stentorian voice, and a tendency to try to share his excitement with everyone in a mile radius.

"I start at Beacon in a couple days. I'm going to commission a weapon later today, armor too. I think you and Unc will really like what I have in mind. Best of both worlds."

"I'm so proud of you son. To be a Huntsman is the greatest calling one can aspire to. I can't wait to see what you can do."

"Thanks Dad. I'll make you proud." It had hurt a little, thinking he wasn't cut out to be a Huntsman. To hear that he was, from the person who informed his understanding of what it was to be a Huntsman? Kuma's smile could probably blind someone right now.

"Well, I think this calls for an old Orr blessing. I've always hoped I would get to use it on you." The Orr family had a history of producing Huntsman, and there was a lot of weird family traditions. Blessings were one of them.

"Thou seeketh to become a Huntsman. The path to thy goal shall be perilous. Accept this blessing, that it might grant thee the fortitude to see this road through.

May thee be a beacon in the darkness, bringing hope to those who have lost it. May thee be a mantle, embracing those in need of protection. May thee be a shady oasis to those lost in the desert. And may thee be a haven to those who seek sanctuary.

Uphold these ideals, and reach the pinnacle of what it means to be Huntsman."

Kuma couldn't speak. Every word seemed to have the weight of hundreds of years. And it was in such archaic language! All of the blessings he had heard before hadn't used that kind of language. It must have been crazy old.

"…that's some powerful stuff Dad. I'm going to have to think about that stuff."

"Yes, you will. You figured out what you need to be a Huntsman. Now you learn what it means to be one. Alright, let's stop all this heavy talk! I'll hand you back to your mother, but you've got to remember to send me a picture of your weapon and armor. And remember, no tinctures on tinctures or metals on metals!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm not gonna mess up my emblem."

"That's my boy. Here's your mother."

After a brief pause, his mother asked,"So you're going to become a Huntsman?"

"Yup. I start at Beacon on Monday."

"That's wonderful! Will you have everything you need? Do you need textbooks? Is there anything you need from home? Are you worried? I'm a little worried. I never hunted obviously, but I worry about your father and your uncle, it's just so dangerous, you know?"

As she babbled, Kuma began quietly saying "Mom. Mom. Mom," getting louder steadily.

"You know, I haven't seen him in such a long time, what with him being in Vale and us in Atlas, you make sure to say hello from us, okay? Have you talked with him since you moved over there? I know I told you to go visit him, but I don't think you rememb-"

"Mom! You're doing it again."

"Sorry sweetie!" she said, unrepentantly. "Can you blame me for being excited? Now we'll have two Hunters in the family!"

"Two? Did Albiona seriously figure it out first?!" Oh, she would never let Kuma live that down. 5 years younger, and more on top of it than him?

"Yup. She's going to enroll in Shroud combat-prep next week, just like you!"She'll be so excited to hear you're going to be a Hunter too."

"Is she there?"

"No, she's out with some of her friends that aren't going on to Shroud. She's trying to spend as much time with them as she can, before she has to leave."

"Yeah, I know saying goodbye is hard. Say hi to her for me, and now that I'm thinking about it, say hey to Ivar and Rossa for me. I'll try to come home and see everybody over winter break, since I don't have to worry about working anymore."

"They'll be glad to hear that, I'm sure. Have you been keeping in touch?"

"Yeah, but it's difficult, with all of us working. I'll try to talk to them more, now that I don't have to worry about the boss-man." Kuma looked over at the clock and saw it was almost 5:30. "Hey, Mom, I've loved talking to you and Dad, but I've gotta go. The weapon shops are going to start opening soon, and I still have to walk over there."

"I understand sweetie. Call us again soon, and don't forget to say hi to your uncle!"

"I will."

"Forget, or say hi?"

Kuma laughed, "I won't forget. Love you, bye!"

"Love you!"

Kuma hung up the scroll call. If he ran, he just might have time to get some decent breakfast before hitting the shops. Kuma sacrificed a MTN GLN to the fatigue demons, and was off.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out. Work/college have been kicking my ass. I'll try to get chapter 4 out a bit faster this time, operative word there being try.**

 **So we meet the family! Marigold, Bercilak, Albiona, and Per-Kuma Orr(Kuma doesn't really like his name. You'll find out why later). I kind of envision the Orrs as discount Arcs. No Orr has made it into the history books, but they have a history of producing respectable Huntsmen and Huntresses. The blessing is my favorite thing I've ever come up with. Ever. Ooh, before I forget, I'm ignoring a bit of canon here. In canon, the Huntsman academies were formed after the Great War. I don't really like that, so bye bye! This also has my headcanon for why the academies are named what they are(since I'm ignoring canon a bit, the Mantle academy was called Mantle. Atlas is the successor). Kind of using the same naming convention(Signal before Beacon, Sanctum before Haven), I came up with Shroud.**

 **So I'm going with the "Troll Ozpin" and "Glynda 'Am I the fucking maid' Goodwitch" tropes. Those are two of my absolute favorite tropes in RWBY fanfic. Some others might make appearances later on.**

 **Next chapter, Beacon! Also, we meet the future team!**

 **Also, lemme know if you think my language is a bit much for T rating. I can bump it up if needed.**

 **Kogarasumaru! Kill 'em dead!**

 **Salty Crusader**


	4. Chapter 4: Welcome to Beacon

**Beta: Preturabo**

* * *

Kuma fidgeted in his seat. He was a little anxious, and all hopped up on energy drinks. He had gotten up early to see if he could pick up his weapons and armor before he got on the airship to Beacon. Unfortunately, the only pieces that were done yet were his spaulders and vambraces. That was a bit of why he was nervous-he was going to have to participate in whatever rite of passage Beacon had unarmed.

Kuma began looking around the airship, trying to distract himself. All the color-coordinated outfits clashed and combined in a violent cascade of hues. From where he sat in the middle of the ship looking forward, he could see a tall redhead wearing armor, a noodly blond who looked like he was about one bad bump from painting the walls with puke, and…Kuma began hitting his head on the back of the seat in front of him. _Why does the world hate me?_

It was the blonde chick from the club(he thought her name was Yang, if he remembered right). He hadn't realized she was a Huntress. But even worse, she was talking to the girl with the scythe that broke up the Dust robbery. It looked like they knew each other pretty well.

Kuma hunched down in his seat. If they didn't notice him, he could just hide in the crowd and hopefully never, ever, ever interact with either of them. That would probably be the best course of action going forward. Maybe he'd get to preserve his health that way. Kuma thought he could see lingering bruising on Yang's forehead from here. He hunched down a bit more.

"You know, if you slouch down any more, I'll think you'll push the person in front of you all the way into the next row." Kuma looked up, to see that he was indeed pushing a scrawny kid with a mohawk forward quite a bit. He silently mouthed an apology and sat back normally in his seat.

"Yeah…I just saw some people who I'd rather not notice me," he said, turning to the purple haired girl next to him.

"Ooh, rivalries and intrigue already, and the school year hasn't even started. You've got to tell me the details!" The girl seemed cool. And the septum piercing combined with the undercut came together for quite an image. He liked the look of the bandolier strapped across her chest, the gun that shot those rounds must be massive. Exactly what he was looking for in a new friend.

Kuma extended his hand. "Call me Kuma. I worked as a bouncer and tried to throw out that blonde chick with the bracelets, got some matching bruises there," he said, pointing to his forehead. The bruise had ceased being purple and black and proceeded to green and yellow. It looked horrid. "Protip, nobody wins in a headbutt."

She shook his hand, replying "Lila, Lila Falke. I've been wondering about that bruise the whole time we've been sitting here, but I didn't want to be too rude. And what about the shorty next to her?"

"I called her short, and she just about punted my balls into my abdomen. Protip number two-"

Lila mimed taking a note. "Don't call her short, got it. I can see why you didn't want either to notice you." Lila appeared to realize something suddenly. "Hey, wait, you worked at a club, do you know any good party spots? The club I usually go to closed for renovations about a week ago, so I'm looking for a new spot."

Kuma sighed. "That would be where we met. Also the reason it's closed."

"Must have been a hell of a brawl, the sign said it would be months before they reopened." Lila snapped her fingers and nodded to herself. "It's decided, we're going to be teammates."

Internally, Kuma fist pumped. _Friend count +1!_ "Are you sure? People will talk, moving this quickly."

"In your dreams, fuzzface. Way I figure it, if you managed to bust up Junior's that much, even with help, you gotta be a pretty good fighter. Plus, you're like seven feet tall, so I can use you as a meat shield. And you know the club scene!" Lila threw an arm around his shoulder and made a grand gesture with the other. "Together, we will rule this school!" After a second, she let go, rubbing her side where his spaulder had dug in. "Those armor bits are uncomfortable, you know that? See if I ever hug you again."

Kuma deadpanned, "Oh no, how will I ever contain my sorrow." He very slowly cupped his hands and brought them together. "Oh look, I've done it."

"Funny too! Team Lila will be on top in no time!"

Kuma snickered. "So bold, telling me your preferences at such an early stage in the relationship. OUCH!"

Lila had whacked the back of his head, blushing slightly. "Hmm, if you're going to be such a freaking perv, I should find somebody else for Team Lila."

Kuma gasped theatrically, throwing one arm over his eyes and draping himself over his seat. "Alas! Coldly abandoned, hope snatched from my very fingers! Who are you, to so freely play with men's hearts?" After a moment, he slightly raised his arm, and cracked one eye open.

Lila was shaking in her seat, trying to contain her laughter. "You're an oddball, you know that?"

Kuma straightened in his seat. "It's how I entertain myself. Made you laugh, didn't it?" His eyes widened slightly as he noticed something. "Oh shhhh-heyyyy, those two are moving over here, I'm gonna go and try and hide farther back in the ship," he said, standing up and immediately beginning to move. "Be my distraction!"

"Uggh, you're lucky I like you." As Kuma quickly scurried away(as much as someone his height can scurry), he heard Lila brightly say in a ditzy tone, "Oh my gawd, I _love_ your jacket! And those boots! Where did you two find them?"

Kuma chuckled softly. He didn't envy Yang one bit right now.

Kuma passed through the exit of the airhead and immediately noticed a horrible stench. Wrinkling his nose,he walked past the noodle-boy from earlier violently heaving the contents of his stomach into a trashcan. Air travel didn't agree with everyone, he guessed. He followed the crowd until the path opened up into a large campus.

If he recalled correctly, orientation would be in the main auditorium in about an hour. Plenty of time for exploration. And first on Kuma's list of places to find was the weight room. Now the dream was alive again, he needed to get back in shape. Right after that was the cafeteria or kitchens. Very important for gaining muscle mass.

Kuma started looking for a directory, or some sort of landmark. Before he could start seriously looking in earnest, he heard a loud bang. He quickly found the source of the noise to be a Dust explosion centered on some girl with white hair engage in yelling at... _She really has bad luck with Dust._ It was little Miss Rose again. At least he thought her name was Rose. He seemed to recall Professor Ozpin saying something like that.

There were vials of burn Dust all around them, along with a toppled luggage cart. All the luggage had a large snowflake emblem on them. Kuma looked back at the girl in the white dress. White dress, white hair, snowflake emblem…that all added up to Schnee.

He curled his hands into fists, flexing slightly. _Bunch of exploitative bigoted elitist asshats. Wonder why little Weissy isn't going to Atlas, close to Daddy?_ He continued watching as some girl in black and white walked over and apparently also invoked the Schnee's anger as well. After a second, Weiss stormed away from both Rose and the monochrome girl, towards him.

 _I probably shouldn't…it's only day one, no need to make any enemies just yet._ Kuma looked around. Little Rose wasn't moving closer, and Yang was nowhere to be seen. _Ahh, I don't need friends like the Schnees anyway, if half of what Dad and Tiik have said is true._ Kuma began walking toward her, closing the gap. When she got close, he put on his poshest voice and introduced himself. "Why, hello Miss Schnee. It's nice to see I will not be the only Atlesian attending Beacon. Might I ask why you aren't attending Atlas Academy instead?"

The girl stopped, but the scowl on her face remained. "I believed it would be best to attend a foreign academy to broaden my horizons. Who are you?"

"Oh, nobody important. I was just wondering, since it seemed like Beacon was a bit far from the Schnee checkbook," he replied, in the same even tone.

"I beg pardon?!"

"I said, it seems like you're a bit far from Daddy's checkbook, princess." Kuma lapsed back into his normal voice.

Weiss balled her tiny hands into fists. "You can't talk to me like that, you, you…ruffian!"

"Have to try harder than that, sweetie. I give it a six. The angrily shaking fists are the only thing that saved it from a four." Kuma paused a moment to enjoy the fact he'd shocked her speechless before continuing, "Also, I thought you Schnees were all Dust 'experts'? Pretty embarassing, causing a Dust explosion before even orientation."

"The only reason there was an explosion is that idiot girl sneezed all over it!"

"If a sneeze set it off, I'm pretty sure that's a sign it was improperly packaged." Logic and Weiss Schnee didn't seem to be on speaking terms. "Maybe you should spend some more time around the mines. I think you'd learn a lot, and not just about Dust."

"I know what you're implying, and for your information, the Schnee Dust Company treats its workers very well." Her voice had turned...icy **(YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!)**.

"Maybe its office workers. I doubt you've ever gone to the mines to actually verify what Daddy has told you."

"I'm not having this conversation with you!" Weiss practically screamed at him, and turned to stomp away. Quieter, almost inaudibly, he could hear her whisper shakily, "I left Atlas to escape all this."

Kuma watched her walk away for nearly a minute. _That...wasn't what I expected. Maybe she did fall far from the tree._ He slowly exhaled. _I might have to apologize at some point. Depending._

Kuma shook his head, as if shedding the regret. "Alrighty, back to finding the weight room." Kuma's stomach rumbled, and he remembered he hadn't had time to eat before he ran to pick up his armor. "Scratch that, cafeteria."

A cheery voice suddenly made itself known just behind his left ear. "Hey, you're looking for the cafeteria? Me and Renny are too!"

"Gaah!" Kuma flinched, startled. He turned around to see…no one. "What the…"

"Here, silly!" The voice came from below. Kuma looked down to see a short orange haired girl. "Wow, you're crazy tall! Do you hit your head on doors often? Ooh, you probably do, look at that bruise Renny! You must have been really going fast, were you in a hurry?"

Kuma tuned out the barrage of questions and did some mental math, but it didn't add up. _If she's that short, how did she shout in my ear?_

"It's best not to question it," a quiet voice said, as if in answer. Standing behind the ginger girl was a man in green with a pink streak through his hair. He seemed to almost fade into the background. "Down that path lies madness."

"How…how did you know what I was thinking?" _What is happening right now?_

"I didn't. But I know that look." The man reached out for a handshake. "Lie Ren. I am all that stands between this world and apocalypse." In any other tone of voice, that would have sounded like a shook his hand, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I'm Nora! Me and Renny have been together for forever! Well, together, but not together-together." Nora grabbed his hand with a merciless grip, pumping it vigorously. Almost reflexively, Kuma matched it. "Nice to meetcha!"

"Call me Kuma." He began rolling his wrist and shaking his hand, attempting to restore blood flow. "And you have quite a grip."

"Nora, what did I say about handshakes?" Ren's voice held the patience of a saint.

"That I need to be gentle…but he squeezed back just as hard! Do you think we could be punchy partners?" Nora started out dejected, but bounced back quickly.

"The word is sparring partner, and you should ask _him_ , not me. Nicely." A paternal or familial note had entered Ren's voice.

"Can I punch you sometimes, please? You can punch me back!" Nora looked at Ren for approval. He sighed softly, and pinched his nose. After a count of three, Ren brought his hand back down and nodded. Approval gained, Nora looked back at Kuma expectantly.

"Ummm…sure?" _What the hell, she's cute at least. And it'll be fun to have someone to cut loose against._

"Yippee! This is going to be awesome! Ren, update the quest book!" Ren pulled out a small notepad with a longsuffering look. 'A Punchy Partner' was written in small, neat handwriting across the top of the page. Underneath, next to small bullets, was written 'Scout Beacon,' 'Select a victim candidate', and 'Convince them to accept.' A small check mark was next to the first of these. Ren added two more next to the second and third, then put one next to the header. Only then did he tear it off and throw it away.

Noticing how Kuma had watched all this, Ren explained, "Nora likes to imagine she's the protagonist of an RPG. So she has a quest book, and if I don't check everything in the right order before I tear it out, she gets…irate."

"The world thanks you for your sacrifice," Kuma said with utmost sincerity **.**

"You mean our sacrifice." Ren smiled slightly. "You just signed up as punchy-partner, which means you are now effectively her stress ball." His smile grew wider as he saw mingled comprehension and horror appear on Kuma's face. "Nice to have you, partner."

"Renny, I'm hungry! Let's go to the cafeteria! You should come with us!" Nora grabbed Ren's collar and started dragging him away.

"Somehow...I've lost my appetite. I think I'll just sit here and review all the decisions that led to this exact moment, right here, right now." Kuma collapsed heavily in a nearby bench, staring blankly into the distance. "Don't wait up. I may be here a while."

"That doesn't sound very fun…but if you're sure! Come on Renny, I bet there's pancakes!" As Nora dragged him away, Ren stared at Kuma and mouthed "One of us, one of us."

 **A/N: I originally planned on having everything leading up to the cliffs be one chapter, but I feel bad that it's taking so long, so I'm going to break it into two instead. I discovered some weeb shit that's exactly my aesthetic and also the exact wrong thing for me to maintain any semblance(wha-ha-hey, RWBY jokes) of productivity. Forgive me!(and if you're interested, it's called Macross Delta)**

 **Okay, so Kuma has interacted with the first of the other OC's(first draft would have had her be the third, but I didn't like the sequence, so it'll appear in a couple chapters. I think you'll like Ubb and Hvit). For appearance, she looks a lot like Sombra, if you couldn't tell. Believe it or not, that was an accident. I was telling an artist friend about Lila and the other OC's and she drew them, and I immediately was like "Oh my god, it's Sombra, Lila is Sombra." I hope you like the exchange between the two. It literally wrote itself, and I love it. My two little flirty babies.**

 **I swear I don't hate Weiss. That segment started out way lighter, but it's better the way it is. I still don't get how the literal Dust heiress is carrying it in fragile** _ **corked**_ **vials in soft sided luggage. But yeah, Kuma being from Atlas knows the Schnee's, besides what his dad and Tiik(MYSTERy told him. They're like super celebrities, except not really liked(not by the people you want to be friends with anyway). Weiss isn't quite as hated as Papa Schnee and Shitley, but more hated than Winter. Winter at least got out of the business, and is now almost liked.**

 **Nora and Ren…I debated having Kuma meet them before initiation. So I wrote a tiny drabble of what I thought it would go like, and immediately realized how much fun Nora is to write. You can go practically any direction with her. Also, no Renora. Might as well get that out of the way. I just enjoy the older brother/dad dynamic a lot more. Ren is a bit less stoic here than in canon. After so much time with Nora, I feel like he shouldn't always be so serious. His style of humor is going to be very dry, with a healthy dose of schadenfreude.**

 **Alrighty, so next chapter Kuma will continue to avoid Ruby and Yang, meet some more folks, and we'll get to the cliffs. I'll try to get it out a bit quicker this time! Also, do ya'll think omakes would be a fun and cool thing? Because if you do, I can try to make that happen. I'm not sure if they would be short bits at the end of chapters or longer ones I post every once in a while. Lemme know what you think.**

 **Set clock back on Faunus rights, take Vale and no say thank! You send gingerbot against sad magnet girl, surprise, you've been IronPranked!**

 **Check out Putin is Number One Greatest President Song by ADHD. If I do omakes, a full adaptation of this is definitely happening.**

 **Salty Crusader(Still crying over PvP)**


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